Strange Curses

Sunday, January 29, 2006

New addition to my life

i know, its been some time since i last updated. however, i am still kinda in my lull period and the chinese new year mood has been in me since like 3 weeks back.

but in these short 3 weeks, i have gotten "married", i have kissed the tar, i am known to be ahmad, and i feel lucky for this chinese new year.

oh yah, i will introduce my niece to all of you first...

tah dah..

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isn't she cute?

she is my cousin's daughter... she is going to be 2 mths old le...

and i am gonna introduce you to my wife....

tah dah..

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ain't she a beau? how i wish she can give me babies...baby motorcycles that is.

did i mentioned that my wife loves female pillions...?

after i pass my tp, josh told me that he got a bad feeling about me riding bike...he say that i might buang.

well...if his prediction in 4D is as accurate as he predicting me buang, then, he would have been alot richer.

1 week after i got my licence, i went for a course called expressway riding. the course name explained itself.

everything went smoothly until it started to drizzle for 30 secs and then it stopped.

sooooooo, i decided to illustrate it.

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instructor, 1st rider.
girl, 2nd rider.
me, 3rd rider.

as we were riding along thomson road, i realised that the girl is riding too closely to the instructor as we were at about 50 - 60km/h. but i kept my distance.

then suddenly,

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.... the traffic light turned amber and then red.

the instructor, who is damn zai (experienced) manage to stop. To my horror, the girl rider is unable to brake in time as her following distance is too close and i saw her bike "fish tail" out of control. she buang onto the road. as she buang, her bike almost came to a sudden stop as it grinded on the floor. this leaves me in a terrible situation as my stopping distance became shorter. i jammed on my breaks in order to stop faster but the road is still slippery as it has just rained. i went over one of the arrow markers and i started to "fish tail".

i tried to control it and i managed to.....

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buang together....damn....

i quickly stood up...chest still pounding over the influx of adrenaline in my blood, hands and legs soft like jelly, and went over to the girl and check to see if she is ok. i helped her up before the instructor took over.

when we returned to the driving center, i analyzed the whole incident.

1) the tyes are new and the bike is rarely used, so there is a layer to tyre wax that have not been worn out yet.

2) the road is wet and slippery, i should have slowed down earlier.

3) luckily i buang...if not, i would have either banged into the bike and then fall on the curb or rolled over the girl.

its kind of a superstition that all riders must kiss the tar once. well...i done that, and hopefully all my trips on my bike will be safe.

or yah, i forgot pt no. 4.

4) i am following a girl rider...

hey, no offence but i seriously think that girls should be kept off the road. just yesterday, i almost got into 2 accident because of fucking girl drivers.

one was using HP while driving and cut into my lane...that was in the afternoon.

another one, from a parked position on the left curb, without checking for vehicles coming from the back, juz cut into the right lane which i was on at 70km/h.... limpeh horn her like fuck then kindly showed her some signs...

so.....girls...advice for you, juz let the guys be your ahmad....less accidents will happen.

and me being ahmad...serene, i will be collecting salary ah. hahaha.

yesterday i was playing mahjong at roger's place, and we were watching the chinese new yr countdown show. so right after the countdown, i got my xin nian di yi hu. haha..first win of the new year. in the end, i won a little bit. enough to top up my petrol tank. later i am gonna try my luck at roger's place again.

so....all the best to me, and everybody else for this new year, tio 4D toto, collect lots of angpao, everything shun shun li li for this year....and ORD LOH....in 6 more mths. hahaha
:: posted by strangesentiments, 7:53 AM | link | 2 comments |

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Its sad

I AM SAD!!!

Today got my riding TP test!!

it was raining heavily...

the damn road is wet...

visibility was poor...

i woke up damn early...

the bike engine is cold...

all thanks to bernard's suay mouth...

I am sad...that i have an extra card to have in my wallet making it heavier.

it was raining heavily...but i had my raincoat on.

the damn road is wet...but i rode really cautiously.

visibility was poor...but i plan ahead.

i woke up damn early...but i wasn't tired.

the bike engine was cold...but i warmed it up.

all thanks to bernard's suay mouth...but i proved that my skills are more than his suay curses. (eh bernard..your TP coming ah...heh heh heh *cues evil laughter*)

WOO HOO... my first licence.

i chalked up 10 demerit pts in the rain... even i was surprised by the score.

i think this month, good things happen to me in succession. lost $18 in mahjong on sunday and won $40 during haji's eve. (thanks roger, serene, and sharon for losing to me) then got my licence today. and my buddy joshua is gonna lend me his bike to ride making me happy like fuck. so cool...i dun have to take cab to camp anymore le...got bike for transport. go home late dun have to worry about midnight cab...

Here are some pictures on new year eve gathering.

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i dunno what we are doing.. with me in the middle of a screaming roger and bernard in a humping position over me, it just ain't too good for me.

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bernard's gay... he loves touching his inflatable breasts.

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i pointed out something to serene, "bernard's breast are bigger than yours"

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serene kills people with a smile...

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its revenge time...

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the worst drink ever for a forfeit...we lost the forfeit...but serene drank it.. go serene!

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bernard's the cockest...i mean the eyes.

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group photo!
:: posted by strangesentiments, 10:45 PM | link | 0 comments |

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Travel Advisory on Drag Kingdom and JB

Happy New Year all of you....

hope all your resolutions for this new year actually comes true eventhough i know you won't even remember more than half of them.

also happy belated buffday to Supin. now you got ai ren le dun forget us k?

also happy buffday to my sister...now you grow up liao..dun anyhow go gao shan gao shi ah.. if i know who gao you i will castrate him in public, pluck all his pubs and armpit hair and stuff it into his mouth and make him choke.

but anyway, bact to the main topic.

have you ever been to another country and got attacked or saw someone got attacked?

well, i was a victim in hatyai thailand. all thanks to my friend who wanted to watch a drag show. if you have nv been to thailand, they have these "sistic" outlets in some roadside that sell drag show tickets. these "sistic" booths are like money changer booths and instead of displaying the exchange rate, they display drag posters. another difference is that in money changer booths, we can commonly see pretty ladies or at least some decent looking female, but at these "sistic" booths, one can commonly see fat, saggy, old, retired drag queens. either that or the surgery has gone horribly wrong..and i mean HORRIBLY. i shall name them dragster...drag + monster = dragster.

and yah...me and my friend, Din, was like shopping around the city center and we unfortunately walked past the sistic booth. so out of curiosity, we juz stopped to take a look at the posters. so out of idiocy, Din said,"Hey Kenny, we don't get to see this in Singapore man!!" and swung his camera to his face and wanted to snap a picture of the booth. so out of anger, the dragster in the booth stood up, and scolded me and my friend in thai. so out of stupidity, we juz stood there thinking what the hell happened. so out of insanity, dragster picked up a metal rod and threw it straight at us. so out of alertness, my friend siam the rod. so out of ka neng (jelly legs), i was unable to jump out of the way and it hit me near my groin. (i scared until ka neng liao...and suay suay, or rather heng heng kenah near my lampah and not at my lampah. if not i can be PR there and learn the art of "dancing stars") so out of ki siao, draggy came out of the booth and wanted to snatch the camera from my friend and started to push him. all i did was juz stood there and watched the show. i think my friend is damn brave, coz he defended himself quite well. i guess if i were him, i would have shitted and urinated in my pants at once. draggy was like a mad women keep shouting and wanted to hit my friend until the nearby shopowners came to pull her away. we juz ran away and never walked back there again.

in the end we bought tix to watch the drag show. it was quite fun except till the end when you are leaving...the drags will just stand at the door and beg you for tips...very irritating. they will just hold your hands and not let you go until you give them money. oh yah...and the art of "dancing stars" is actually drag show. it's called dancing stars because they use stars to cover their nipples. and when they dance and hop around, from far, or in dark, they juz seem like stars dancing.

and also if you go to JB, do take extra care because JB is really getting out of hand. alot of crimes are targeted at Singaporeans. 6 mths back, me and my secondary sch friends finished shopping at holiday plaza and wanted to eat some seafood. the seafood place was about 2 streets away and we decided to walk instead of taking a cab. the street was quite dark and the walkway was narrow. so the girls walked on the walkway and some of the guys walked on the curbside. joshua and da sao was the last and i was the second last. out of nowhere, we all heard a pretty loud bang, and a something the size of a cat and brown in colour flew to my calves. i simply jumped on the spot and thought the car had hit a cat. then i noticed it isn't a cat. its a shoe box that belongs to da sao. joshua was squating down by the walkway holding onto his wrist. i then realised that the damn car had driven too close and hit josh on his wrist. i suspected it is done on purpose as the road was damn wide. luckily pain was what josh suffered only. he recovered after 15mins.

there are more recent cases not published on the news. a couple rode in to JB to pump petrol. the guy was severely beatened up, girl was raped, and the bike is gone. another one is that a rider was at the petrol station. a guy as him to help him start his bike at the alley and he followed the guy. in the alley, he was asked to hand over his valuables and he resisted. the robber took out a parang and slashed at his neck, his head was almost severed and he died at the spot.

so if you are going to JB, best is go to crowed places and don't follow strangers around. also best is don't wear until very class or hiao, best is wear as slack as possible and stay low profile. dun flaunt jewelleries and expensive valuables too.

but even when all these are happening, i just can't seem to stop going to JB for cheap stuff and all the PVDs there...anyone wanna go with me on 14 Jan to buy new year clothes?
:: posted by strangesentiments, 9:57 PM | link | 0 comments |