Strange Curses

this is a delayed posting...

11 Jun 2005

today, is a lucky day...that's what we chinese believe.

today is also my jie jie's happiest day.

but all is not meant to be... we are missing a piece of jigsaw to form the prettiest puzzle of her life.

and that piece of jigsaw is her mum, my eldest aunt.

6 mths ago, she died of a rare stroke... a vessel in her brain burst, but the blood did not clog. it juz kept flowing and flowing flooding the whole brain. 2 hrs after the vessel burst, she went into a coma, nv to wake up again. she was pronounced brain dead after 2 days and to help her breathe, she was attached to the ventilator. i visit her once...juz before the doctors remove the ventilator and let her go....it was heart wrenching to see her suffering.

at that point in time, i wanted to cry, but i held back my tears. her husband and children were all by her bedside at all times. they keep saying "mummy...chi lai, mummy chi lai, ah guang (the name she called me) lai kan ni le. mummy, kuai dian chi lai"

it has been sometime since i saw her due to some family conflicts...but i din expect it to see her in this state at any point of time. i almost burst out of the ICU crying when i saw her in such a terrible state. i had to control myself. i held her hand, said to her "ah yi(aunt), kuai dian chi lai...wo shi ah guang, wo lai kan ni le." somehow, i hope to see her move even her eyelids...just a flicker would be enuff. she didn't...she just continue to sleep. i continue holding back my tears.

she left us peacefully the next day.

it's saddening, to see her depart when she hadn't live her life to the fullest. she had no indulgence in life, just plain and simple and hard. she has never even been on a plane before. and when i was just a young kid, she took good care of me, just like anyone's aunt would take care of them. i had nv had a chance to repay her..., and she just left us behind.

yes...that's the piece of missing puzzle.


a lady is the prettiest on her wedding day... i juz realized how true that is. i noe there are idiots who dun think she is chio....but beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.


that is my uncle being served tea, alone...the incomplete picture.


my parents...they are so happy to be able to drink this cup of tea... it had been a long wait.


my uncle, my kor (2nd cousin) and my 4th cousin. i am the 3rd in the family...


its the first time...after like 10yrs... that we took a chuan jia fu... together with my relatives


its also a long time since i take pictures with my family...another chuan jia fu.

at the wedding dinner




my family and my relatives...


my kor and me... i can't even remember when is the last time we actually took a pic together.


me and my 5th cousin..


2nd, 5th, 6th (my younger bro), 3rd (me), and 4th cousin...the 1st and 7th (my younger sis) are missing...


me and my jie (1st cousin)


the bride and groom...


showering flower petals are signs of good blessings...


bai tou xie lao, yong jie tong xing, zhao shen gui zi...so i have a nephew/niece to play with.


a change of clothes for the champagne tossing session...


golden champagne for hao yun lian lian, and also fertility...


happy family....

this entry means alot to me... especially the part about my aunt.... after her passing, i became a changed man... i express my feelings to my loved one more... i try to treasure every moment i have with my friends and family... and also..i learn to love myself more..