Strange Curses

i will be in mandai jungle in...say, about another 20 hours.

hmm...been thinking about lots and lots of things these few days after things are less hectic for me.

in these 2 weeks of my hectic schedule, after my gahment work during the weekdays, i still went to work as promoter during the weekends.... it seems endless.

however, i juz can't get her out of my mind... whenever i stop to take a break, i will miss her, think of her, and daydream about her....

it just doesn't seem right, for me to think of her when she has a boyfriend. sometimes my conscience feel abit guilty... but the more i wanna forget this crush, the more i hang on to it, unwillingly, unwittingly, unobligingly...

things have been slightly different for me after i fell for her....
1) when the mrt stops at kovan station, i will be super alert...looking out for any signs of her
2) before i sleep every night, i wish for her to be well and happy
3) when my phone rings, she is the one i will be hoping for
4) everynight when i can, i will log in on msn...hoping that she is there...to chat with me

but now, she seems to be avoiding me a little. i may be over sensitive...but it could be true. she use to be online (msn) every nite or at least once every 2 nights. however, she i have not seen her online for like about 2-3 weeks...i think she has blocked me on msn. if you find that i am bothering you and your life, please just drop me a msg... and i will stay far away from you.

you told me before...we are friends forever... and you won't avoid me. but to me, i can't help but to think that you are avoiding me. its not the way to make me give up on you...but it is a sure way to spoil the friendship that we have.

i will now be going away for four days. i will try to update with some pics of my new experience. i have never been outfield before. i have only been semi-outfield during my pri 5 camp... thats like 10 yrs ago.. wish me all the best that i come back in one piece, dun get eaten by tigers, attack by bees, killed by wild boars...

maybe its good to see a wild boar...can eat roast pig..haha.

and to her, if you are reading this, please give me a slightest hint, clue, indication, sign of what you are feeling towards me as a friend now so that i know what i should do. also please tell me that you are having a happy life now.

someone, some god, some cupids, some angels, some ghosts, pls help me pass this msg to her for me if possible...hopefully when i come back from being tarzan, i will have some hints from "jane".